- Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.
- Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols or follow Lostprophets.
- Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain.
- Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile. Some people are just nice.
- Thou shalt not read NME.
- Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.
- Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
- Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.
- Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
- Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
- Thou shalt not buy Nestlé products.
- Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
- Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
- Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads.
- Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
- Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
- Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you're never gonna fucking talk to.
- Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
- Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
- Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
- Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music, thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
- Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
- Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
- Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
- Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
- When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho".
- When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop".
- When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise - kill me.
- Thou shalt not quote me happy.
- Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture.
- Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
- Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X, not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
- Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying "Izzit".
- Thou shalt think for yourselves.
I find myself questioning why I like the things I like. What do I get out of them? How does it make me feel and why do I like feeling that way? Do other people feel the same way as I do when they do the things that they like? Am I depriving myself from enjoying these things as much as I possibly can? Or am I feeling as much enjoyment as is possible but am simply unsatisfied? I have no scale on which to measure my potential level of enjoyment and ultimately, happiness. I'm only as happy as I decide I am. I am confined to the limits of what I believe happiness is. Does being aware of the fact I am happy take away from the feeling? The realisation. Or do you not really know you are happy until you take a step back and realise it? These questions are no doubt irrelevant to those who are happy without trying to be. Those who have settled down in a town called ignorance and vow never to migrate. Why would they ever leave?
Answers on a postcard please...
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